Are We There Yet?
by Wide Spread Panic
Summary: AU.G1/IDW. The war has just started and the Autbots have a new outpost: Earth. Plans go awry and Wheeljack finds himself stranded on Earth with six younglings to care for: Sides, Sunny, Hot Rod, Bee, Blue, and Drift ; if they don't deacitivate him first.
1. Prologue: Why me?

SUMMARY: (AU, G1 and IDW-Verse inspired.) The civil war between the Autobots and Decepticons has only just begun, but is going strong. Skyfire, on a mission from Optimus Prime, has discovered a small mud-ball of a world rich with resources. This world, it has been decided, will act as an Autobot outpost and a staging ground for the Autobot forces to gather enough energon to decisively defeat the Decepticons. This world is Earth. Unfortunately for Wheeljack, plans go awry and he finds himself alone on the strange planet with six younglings to look after as he tries to signal for help and reach the outpost.

Disclaimer: I, of course, do not own Transformers or any of the 'bots. They belong to Has-Tak. I am but a lowly fan.

Author's Note: **bold **face indicates nonverbal communication. _Italics_ indicate thoughts.

And on a side note, if you don't recognize Drift, he's a character created by IDW for the Transformers: All Hail Megatron series. Check him out, he rocks.

* * *

PROLOGUE

_It was supposed to be simple_, Wheeljack mused. Of course, with the number of younglings on board the ship there was bound to be some minor altercations. They all knew that. Younglings would be younglings, and you had to overlook their mischief. Or that was the theory any way.

He had been walking from his makeshift lab to the rec room, when he heard the shouting from down the hall. He quickened his steps worriedly and peered into a side corridor and stiffened. The shouting was coming from Red Alert and the bot's helm was sparking madly. Prowl was standing rigidly beside him. It didn't take him long to figure out what the fuss was about. Poor Perceptor had been welded spread-eagled to the wall like some macabre ornament. The red bot didn't look angry, just resigned and put upon. Around Perceptor was a dizzying collage of colorful graffiti.

"What the slag were you glitches thinking?" Red roared, head still sparking erratically. Wheeljack sincerely hoped he didn't fry himself again. After all, he was the closest thing to a medic they had on board.

Wheeljack turned his head and quickly spotted the focus of Red's ire. The younglings were standing in a small group with varied expressions. _Most likely_, he mused, _this was Sideswipe's idea_. The red twin was openly grinning and his yellow brother, Sunstreaker, looked defiant with his chin up and his eyes glaring. Beside him was Bluestreak, the second youngest of the group. The young sniper held his wing panels down submissively and was staring fixedly at the floor. The youngest, Bumblebee, was standing partially behind Blue and Jack found himself doubting that the small yellow bot had had anything to do with Perceptor's current predicament. The other two were standing slightly apart from the Iacon raised bots. They were two of Kup's foundlings, who had been enlisted in their group at Ultra Magnus' request. Hot Rod easily stood out the most with his fiery coloring and personality. The other, a quiet bot named Drift, Jack knew next to nothing about. The white and red bot kept to himself for the most part and always had a small smile on his face.

"We didn't hurt him." Sideswipe protested, pouting slightly and giving Red a big-optic look of utter pathetic-ness.

"We were bored." Sunstreaker griped and he crossed his arms challengingly.

Jack huffed air through his system in a sigh. _Thank Primus, I'm not the one responsible for them_, he thought with a tiny smile that was hidden by his face plate.

Prowl turned at that moment, somehow sensing he was there. "Wheeljack, cut Perceptor down," he said sounding tired. Wheeljack nodded and stepped aside. Prowl pointed at the cluster of younglings. "You lot, come with me."

He watched as with Prowl leading the group filed out, with Red Alert bringing up the rear and still ranting at the younglings. Jack seriously hoped he didn't accidentally short himself out again. Primus knew they didn't need that. Jack turned to Perceptor and rubbed his hands together.

"Don't you just love younglings?"

Perceptor rolled his optics.

"I'll be right back, just need a cutter. Hey, don't go anywhere," he called over his shoulder.

Perceptor shook his head slowly.

* * *

"I can file that off later," Wheeljack muttered, his vocal indicators blinking apologetically.

Perceptor shrugged as he rubbed at the ragged metal clinging to his arms that had once been part of the wall. "No hurry. It's just…unpleasant, not intolerable."

As they passed the training room, Jack sneaked a glance inside. The younglings, amid much griping, were scrubbing the floors down, while Red Alert glowered at them and barked orders. Sideswipe "accidentally" bumped into Red and knocked him down, spilling a container of solvents on him in the process. The two mechs hurried away as Red's angry voice filled the air yet again.

He could, in a way, see why they had targeted Perceptor for their little prank. He was the mildest of the bots on the ship and the most tolerant. _Also_, Jack thought, _he isn't much fun.  
_  
He was jostled from his thoughts, by the shrill and insistent scream of an alarm. He tensed and opened communications with Prowl.

**What's going on?** He asked.  
**  
A Decepticon ship just turned up on the radar.** Prowl replied sounding distracted. He would be on the bridge, Wheeljack realized, running scans. **Frag. Multiple Decepticon ships.** He corrected himself.

Perceptor and Wheeljack exchanged a look. **Can we outrun them? **Perceptor ventured.

**No, not with the ship we have.** Prowl growled. **Change of plans. Wheeljack. You take the younglings and go ahead. We'll cover you. Perceptor, I need you on the bridge.  
**  
He ran a quick diagnostic, but no, his systems had received the message clearly. Still, he couldn't help but ask, **What?  
**  
**Get the younglings to safety. That's an order, soldier!** Red Alert snarled over the connection. He winced back from the tone and turned around reflexively. **They're untrained and they're liabilities in a fight!** Red added.

From down the hall, Bumblebee and Sideswipe were sticking their heads out the door in curiosity. Red Alert shoved past them and ran up to seize Wheeljack's arm and all but dragged him to the training room. "Let's go!" Red shouted when the young bots hesitated. Wheeljack found himself being shoved along as Prowl uploaded the coordinated to the outpost to him. The little group of younglings jogged behind them still calling out questions.

"Where are we going, Red?" Sideswipe called.

"You've dealt with younglings before, right?" Red Alert demanded, completely ignoring Sideswipe and the other younglings.

"Are we under attack, Sir?" Bluestreak asked, looking worried and his wing panels rose stiffly at attention.

"Actually—" Wheeljack began, but Red Alert wasn't listening.

Before he could explain that he had _never_ dealt with them, he was pushed into a small shuttle along with the young bots. They struggled, already fighting for a place to sit in the cramped space. Wheeljack fought his way to the door, truly worried.

"But—"

The door slid shut in his face and he heard the whine as the systems automatically started up and the ship launched, preprogrammed, on its course. _They welded Perceptor to a wall, because they were bored_, he thought. Slowly and with much trepidation, he turned to face the six younglings.

"Er, hi," he said with a tiny wave. They just stared back blankly. _Primus._

* * *

*Author's Note: Poor Wheeljack. And I'm only just getting started. Next chapter, they make it to Earth in one piece, but unfortunately it doesn't take Jack long to lose the younglings. Plus the young bots find a "pet," but the only problem is that the pet is sentient and not very happy about being a pet. Can Jack get the younglings to the outpost? Will the younglings tear him to pieces? Tune in to find out and thanks for reading; the other chapters will be longer. Please review. –I'm outta here—


	2. Ch1: Hungry

Disclaimer: I, of course, do not own Transformers or any of the 'bots. They belong to Has-Tak. I am but a lowly fan.

SUMMARY: (AU, G1 and IDW-Verse inspired.) The civil war between the Autobots and Decepticons has only just begun, but is going strong. Skyfire, on a mission from Optimus Prime, has discovered a small mud-ball of a world rich with resources. This world, it has been decided, will act as an Autobot outpost and a staging ground for the Autobot forces to gather enough energon to decisively defeat the Decepticons. This world is Earth. Unfortunately for Wheeljack, plans go awry and he finds himself alone on the strange planet with six younglings to look after as he tries to signal for help and reach the outpost.

Author's Note: **bold face** indicates nonverbal communication. _Italics_ indicate thoughts.

And on a side note, if you don't recognize Drift, he's a character created by IDW for the Transformers: All Hail Megatron series. Check him out, he rocks.

Ch. 1: Hungry

The cabin was round and far too small for seven mechs. Bumblebee, Bluestreak, and Sideswipe had taken up positions on the floor. Sideswipe sat with his back pressed to his twins' legs, while Bumblebee and Bluestreak sat side by side near Drift and Hot Rod's feet. All six mechs stared back at Wheeljack expectantly. He realized suddenly, that he would have to let the younglings know who was in charge here. If not, they would simply walk all over him like they did Perceptor. And then he'd end up welded to a wall or worse.

He revved his systems apprehensively and rubbed his hands together. "Uh, I'm Wheeljack and—"

"We know that, Gramps," Sunstreaker said and he rolled his optics. Sideswipe snickered loudly and Drift smirked.

He fought the urge to growl at the "Gramps" comment. He shifted, composed himself, and tried again. "And due to unforeseen circumstances, I'm in charge. The plan is to reach the outpost world and meet up with Optimus' group there."

"Wait, hold on." Sunstreaker sneered at him. "We have to listen to some old _Geezer-bot_?"

Bluestreak and Bumblebee fidgeted.

Hot Rod shrugged. "He's not that old."

"Dude, he's an antique." Sideswipe argued with a grin.

"Seriously," Sunstreaker said.

Wheeljack could feel one optic twitching ever so slightly. _What the frag?_ He wasn't that old. "Listen here," he said in his most serious tone. "I'm in charge. You'll do what I say—"

"We're slagged," Sideswipe pointed out in a stage whisper. All six younglings laughed.

"Don't make him mad! He'll blow us up!" Bumblebee whispered and they all laughed again.

_So much for respecting your elders_, Wheeljack thought darkly. He cycled air through his system in a loud irritated huff and turned back to the monitor. _Little fraggers_.

* * *

The entire trip, he was forced to endure their taunting. He didn't know what was worse, the fact that they talked about him like he wasn't there or the fact that what they said actually offended him. He wasn't that old. Eventually, to his thankfulness, the monitor began beeping to signify that they had entered the star system. He chanced a glance at the younglings who were now leaning their heads together and whispering, every now and then one of them snickering.

_That can't be a good thing_, he thought sullenly.

Proximity sensors began whining and on the screen a small, strangely colored planet appeared. It was odd to see a world so…colorful. Cybertron was gray, but this world was all blues, greens, and browns wreathed in white.

He felt someone standing behind him and turned his head to see Bluestreak staring at the screen. "It's all blue. What's the blue stuff?" Bluestreak asked.

Wheeljack consulted the readings and straightened, his vocal indicators blinking. "According to this, it's H2O. Most of this world seems to be H2O in fact," he replied, mildly surprised to find at least one youngling that would listen to him.

"You're slagging me," Sunstreaker groaned. "We'll rust."

"Primus, forbid anything happens to Sunny's paint," Hot Rod sneered.

Wheeljack turned in time to see Sunstreaker tackle Hot Rod with a snarl. The little shuttle was far too small for rough housing and as the two crashed around on the floor of the cabin, the other younglings hopped up onto the bench that circled the walls to keep out of the way. Except Sideswipe, he used the bench as a launching pad and body-slammed both of the fighters.

"Hey! Cut that out," Wheeljack yelled, trying to keep the scrabbling younglings away from the sensitive instrumentation. "Slag! Quit it!"

Unfortunately, for him none of the fighters listened. Sunstreaker and Hot Rod slammed into him and he flailed his arms to keep from falling back onto the controls. Everything would have been fine if Sideswipe hadn't tackled them. As Wheeljack fell on the controls, he heard the warning alarms begin to shriek. They were all thrown on the cabin's floor as they suddenly began to accelerate. Out of the corner of his optic, he saw the tiny colorful world speeding at them and growing larger.

_Ah, slag._

* * *

"We said we're sorry."

Wheeljack was sitting in mud. In the middle of a wilderness composed of lots of squishy green organic life. He glared up at Sideswipe and the other younglings who were milling around the remains of the shuttle. He growled at them and they backed up.

"Shouldn't we be headed for the outpost?" Bluestreak asked tentatively.

Wheeljack propped his head up on one hand. "We _were_ headed for the outpost. Someone decided to act like sparklings, though. Now we're stuck here."

"We're lost then?" Bumblebee mumbled.

"What do you think?" Wheeljack muttered crossly. Since they had crashed, he'd been trying to hail Optimus' team, but so far no one had responded.

**Crzzt! Wheeljack?**

He tensed and latched onto the weak signal desperately. **Hello? This is Wheeljack! Hello?**

**Jacks, it's Ratchet. What happened?**

The younglings watched from a distance as the engineer's optics dimmed. "I think he's fritzed at us," Sideswipe mumbled.

Bumblebee pursed his lips. "Well, we were pretty hard on him."

"I could really go for some energon," Bluestreak interrupted.

At the mention of energon, all six of the younglings revved their engines hungrily. "There's supposed to be energon here, right?" Hot Rod asked.

"Hey, I bet the geezer-bot's so cranky because he's hungry," Sunstreaker suggested.

"Yeah," Sideswipe agreed. "If we get him some energon, maybe he won't be so mad."

Quietly, the six younglings rose and slipped into the forest. Bluestreak hesitated, before following.

Meanwhile, Wheeljack was deep in conversation with Ratchet and was busy uploading directions on how to reach the outpost.

**One more thing, Jack**, said Ratchet over the static-laden connection. **Whatever you do, do not interact with humans. They're the dominant organic life on this planet. The last thing we need is to have our cover blown too early.**

**Humans?** Wheeljack asked intrigued.

Ratchet seemed to sigh and said, **I'll upload the human files I have to you. Just remember, we want first contact to be under controlled circumstances and at Prime's discretion. Do not interact with the humans.**

* * *

Drift took the lead, since he had the most sensitive olfactory sensors. The quiet white and red bot stalked gracefully through the foliage, smirking to himself as he listened to the other five crashing along behind him.

"Where are we going?" Bluestreak asked uneasily.

"I smell something, but it's not energon," Drift said. "Smells good though."

Bumblebee tipped his head back drawing a deep draft of air into his system. "Hey, that does smell good. What is it?"

"Over here," Drift said.

The six darted off after him, sniffing enthusiastically. The woods gave way to a small clearing with flat, smooth gray ground. In the middle of the clearing was a small rectangular building and a strange awning. Under the awning were six even tinier rectangles standing up vertically. A single security light cast its dim light on the area. The six bots hesitated in the tree line.

"What is that?" Sideswipe asked.

"It's tiny," added Bumblebee in awe. Being a minibot, he was used to be called small, but these strange constructions made him feel like a giant.

Drift stepped onto the strange gray ground and walked across it to peer under the awning. He reached out and prodded one of the tiny rectangles. The other bots skittishly followed him. Bumblebee crouched and nudged one of the strange hoses attached to the rectangles. He tugged the hose loose and stared at the nozzle. Curious, he sniffed it.

"Hey, the smell's coming from the box-things," he said.

Sideswipe grasped one of the rectangles and yanked. With a protesting creak of metal and concrete, the rectangle came up. A huge pipe was attached to the bottom. "How the frag do you get the stuff out?"

Small manipulator's came out of the tips of Bumblebee's fingers and he carefully tugged the trigger. Clear liquid dribbled from the nozzle. Bumblebee let a little drip on one finger and then stuck it in his mouth. "Hey, this is good!" Sideswipe began yanking up the pipe, while Bluestreak and Sunstreaker helped. Drift edged closer to the larger rectangle, curious.

In the little gas station, the lonely clerk had been sleeping stretched out in her chair behind the counter. A little beeping sound made her snort and she almost fell off her chair. She opened one eye and stared at the little light that was blinking to indicate someone was pumping gas. She yawned and stretched lazily.

She glanced out the window at the pumps and went rigid. A single glowing blue eye the twice the size of her head peered in at her.

Drift tapped the strange clear barrier on the front of the larger rectangle pensively, while he scanned it. Curious, he pressed against it, until it gave way with a tinkling sound. _Such primitive materials_, he thought, _and so easy to break_.

The terrified clerk fell off her chair with a scream and huddled behind the counter. She looked up and saw gigantic fingers hovering over her head. With another shrill scream, she darted down an aisle of chips and candy.

Sideswipe looked up with the clear liquid they'd found dribbling down his chin. "What are you doing?" He asked Drift. The other bot was on his knees with his arm shoved up to the elbow in the larger rectangle.

At the same moment that Drift turned his head to reply, the desperate clerk made a bid for freedom and dove through the narrow gap past his arm. Her arms and legs pumping, she tore past him.

Drift snarled. "Catch it!"

Sideswipe crouched down, blocking the woman's escape route. He held his hands up palm out. "Nice little…whatever you are. Come to Uncle Sides," he called.

The clerk stared up at the menacing metal giant speaking in warbles, trills, and electronic noises and decided there was no way in hell she was going down without a fight. With a strangled battle cry, she tore to the left. Unfortunately, Bumblebee was crouched there and she backpedaled so fast, she fell on her butt with a yelp.

Sunstreaker watched his twin and Drift try to catch the organic and snarled. "Don't touch that thing! You don't know where the slag it's been!"

Hot Rod wiped his mouth off on the back of his hand. "Aren't organics supposed to be dangerous?"

"What?" Drift and Sides asked warily.

Sunstreaker smirked evilly. " Don't you know they'll melt your armor with their acidic venom and then lay eggs in your spark chamber?"

Bumblebee and Bluestreak edged discreetly away. Drift, however simply rolled his optics and dove for the organic creature as it tried to escape again. The clerk instantly began thrashing and screaming profanity at them, but they couldn't understand it.

"It's not too happy," Bumblebee observed.

"I wonder what purpose that little tuft of fluff on its head serves." Drift mumbled to himself, as he reached to touch it. The woman screamed in terror and then passed out. He stroked her head.

"You off lined it!" Bluestreak whispered in shock.

"It's not offline, you glitch-head," Sideswipe sneered superiorly.

"Recharging," Drift replied calmly.

Bluestreak edged closer to look. "It's kind of cute…"

Sunstreaker glared at the others. "You aren't thinking about keeping it."

"The Geezer-bot will never let you," Hot Rod added. He had watched the whole spectacle in amusement.

"I'm going to call it Fluffy." Drift announced with a pleased rumble.

Sunstreaker put his face in his palm. "You're all glitched."

Wheeljack found them then. He came stomping out of the tree line with various green organic plant life stuck in his joints and clinging to him and he looked like some primeval god bent on revenge. His optics glowed a dangerous pale white. He surveyed the wreckage in front of him and then his optics flickered to what was dangling from Drift's hand and he snarled.

"What the slag do you think you're doing?" He demanded, his voice soft and dangerous.

Drift held his prize up for inspection. "I found a pet."

Wheeljack's angry shouting scared all the wildlife in the forest that night. Sunstreaker would later swear that it could be heard back on Cybertron itself.


	3. Ch2: Pet

Disclaimer: Yes, you guessed right! I still don't own Transformers, but a girl can dream….

And to those of you who have reviewed, thanks! Also, I've got plenty more things I'm going to throw at poor Wheeljack, but it's because he's my favorite (makes you wonder what I'd do to a bot I don't like huh?).

* * *

Ch.2: Pet

"Who's idea was it to go gallivanting off by yourselves in alien territory?" Wheeljack demanded.

Drift shrugged; the human still hanging pitifully from his fingers. "We were hungry."

Wheeljack rubbed his aching helm. He glared at the unconscious human. So much for no contact, he thought miserably. On the one hand, he could just let the human go, but it might tell other humans. Suddenly, he imagined a swarm of angry humans with torches and pitchforks chasing him. He shuddered. There of course was the option of simply squishing it, but then the younglings would go bawling to Ratchet about it and Ratchet would deactivate him. As much as he hated to admit it, he was less likely to be deactivated if he brought the human with them.

"What's its name?" He demanded tiredly.

"I named it Fluffy," Drift replied neutrally. Sideswipe snickered at the name. The other younglings had gathered at a small distance to listen to Drift get yelled at.

_Fluffy?_ Wheeljack pinched the bridge of his nose above his mask. His logic circuits were going to fry before this was over. "For the record, humans are the dominant species on this world. It probably has its own name."

"What? Those little things are in charge?" Sunstreaker demanded in disbelief.

"I'm calling it Fluffy," Drift said with a smirk.

One optic twitched. _Why? Primus, why do you hate me so?_ "It's sentient. You can't really keep sentient species as pets. It's…er, immoral." _Yeah, that sounded good_, he thought.

"Fluffy." Was Drift's only reply. The young bot smirked at him.

"Fluffy" chose that moment to wake up. It stirred and lifted its head with a groan. Its head tipped back to stare at the giant mechs around it and its eyes promptly rolled back up and it flopped over his fingers again.

"Oh, for Primus' sake," Wheeljack muttered. "Give it here." He took the human from Drift and let it lay limply in the palm of his hand. He silently scanned it. At this rate, its heart would give out. If it deactivated itself, would he still get in trouble for it? He wondered. Probably. "You're stressing its systems out."

"Like you know," Sunstreaker snapped.

Wheeljack off-lined his optics and then on-lined them. _Must not kill younglings._ Without a word, he uploaded the human files to the others, including the language files.

"Hey," Bluestreak said sounding hurt. "It was cussing us earlier."

"Can you blame it?" Bumblebee countered.

"We need to find alt modes so we can blend in," Wheeljack said tiredly. "Do you think you guys are capable of that much?" He turned without an answer and began walking just inside the tree line along the road.

"I get first pick!" Sideswipe called out as he followed.

"Like slag!" Sunstreaker protested.

"Mine will be cooler!" Hot Rod challenged.

Wheeljack looked down at the limp form in his hand. _It's gonna be a long cycle._

* * *

Finding alt modes was fairly easy. They quickly reached a human settling and found a "car lot." Most of the younglings were quick to pick theirs, but Sunstreaker had wandered around the lot three times before settling on the most expensive car on the lot. Being younglings, they all of course chose fast alt modes, and Wheeljack did too in the hopes that he'd be able to keep up with them.

Hot Rod picked a red race car with orange flames. Sunstreaker picked a bright yellow alt mode, as did Bumblebee. Bluestreak's was gray and Jack's own was white and green. Sideswipe was red and Drift's was white and red.

They transformed, Drift staying in his normal form in order to place the unconscious human in Wheeljack's passenger seat, before transforming himself. Wheeljack wasn't all that happy about having it in his interior. He sincerely hoped it didn't make a mess.

The only blessing was that the younglings were being relatively quiet. Though, he was pretty sure they were talking over the private links so he couldn't understand and that was scary.

He felt his passenger shift and he directed his sensors inside. The little human stretched and struggled upright. She looked around and her eyes lit on the steering wheel that was turning on its own. He saw it coming and he groaned. The human screamed and thrashed. He snarled and strapped her in with a safety belt. That only seemed to make the thrashing worse.

"Aaaahhh! Evil car!!"

_Frag. Frag. Frag._ "Hey, would you stop screaming?" Wheeljack groaned. "I'm not going to hurt you!"

Random voices coming from nowhere didn't do much in the way of calming her down. The screaming got louder. She managed a couple of painful kicks in her panic to his sensors and he snarled.

Sudden inspiration set in and he searched the human world wide database. He uploaded an appropriate image and a holoform of an older human male appeared in the driver's seat. He turned towards the cowering female and held his hands up palm out. "It's okay, really. This is all one big misunderstanding."

The female whimpered and scrabbled at the door handle in terror. "Wha-what are you?" She asked tremulously.

"I'm Wheeljack. I'm an autonomous robotic organism and I'm really sorry about this. The, uh, kids think you're a pet, so if you could just play along-"

"Pet?" She repeated in disbelief. "I am not a pet! Let me out!"

"I know, I know." The holoform said with an unnerving fixed smile. "Just humor me. And, uh, they might call you Fluffy."

"Fluffy? My name is Joey!" She snarled and cringed against the door. "And I am _not_ an alien pet!" She wailed.

"The kids think you are, er, sorry again. Just bear with it."

"How about you let me go? I won't tell anyone about you, I promise." She begged and she clasped her hands together in front of her.

"Sorry, no can do."

She cursed him at length.

"Please, for both our sakes. Don't teach the kids any human profanity." He groaned. "They're annoying enough with just Cybertronian curses."

She folded her arms across her chest and slumped back in her seat. He sighed and turned his attention outward to the six bots trailing him. **Hey, use your holoforms. We don't need the humans freaking out.**

Varied affirmatives came back across the connection. _I'm getting better at this._

**How's my pet?** Drift called out.

**She says her name is Joey.** Wheeljack replied. **And she'd like you to know that she's not a pet.**

**Eh, I like Fluffy better.**

* * *

Things were going well, he decided. The human had fallen into a sullen silence with her arms crossed in front of her, but that was better than the screaming. Anything was better than the screaming.

**Uh, hey Wheeljack?** Bumblebee called out. He was at the end of the line.

**Yeah?**

**There aren't any Decepticons here, right?**

**No, why?**

He directed his sensors backwards in time to see a gray and a black car sidle up to either side of Bee. The black car cut its wheels toward the yellow bot and with a squeal of tires, Bee spun around.

**Wheeljack!**

_Fraggit!_ He swerved around, the other younglings darting out of the way. The other humans on the road slamming on their brakes. **Hang on, Bee! I'm coming!** He had to help Bee, but he couldn't blow his cover.

**You're going down, Old-timer!** A voice he recognized snarled across the connection. _Runabout? Then that meant that the other car is Runamuck._ The two never went anywhere by themselves.

_But there aren't supposed to be any Decepticons here…_

* * *

Author's note: lol, little cliffhanger there. Next chapter: can Wheeljack and the kids lead the cons away from the humans so they don't blow their cover any worse than they already have? Can the kids survive an encounter with two trained con soldiers? And what are the cons doing on Earth to begin with? Tune in and Review to find out!


	4. Ch3: Battle of the Younglings

* * *

Disclaimer: Still don't own Transformers. I own the plot and my poor Joey.

Author's note: love to the reviewers! You guys rock out loud! This is my first fanfic, so bear with me if the characters are a little ooc. Here we go!

* * *

Ch.3: Battle of the Younglings

Much to Wheeljack's annoyance, Joey resumed screaming as he spun around. "Mute it youngling, I need to think!"

"I don't want to diiiieee!" She wailed.

**You slaggers messed with the wrong bot!** Wheeljack snarled, ignoring the female's protests.

**Bring it on, Gramps!** Runamuck shouted back.

**Hey, we're the only ones who get to call him Gramps!** Hot Rod protested with a rev of his engine.

**Help me get them away from the humans!** Wheeljack ordered over a private connection. He charged past the two cons, with the younglings swerving to follow him. Bumblebee regaining control shakily and speeding after them. Runabout and Runamuck both swung around in pursuit.

**You glitches can't escape!** Runabout yelled.

Wheeljack began desperately pulling up maps and swerved onto a side road. **Come and get us!** He called after him. All seven Autobots sped up. He swung onto another side road, making sure all six of his charges and the cons were following. A little way out, he swung off the road and tore through some bushes. On the other side of those was a small clearing.

He swung wide, the passenger-side door swinging open and the seat belt releasing. With a shriek, the human was dumped on the grass. **Get back!** He yelled to the younglings as he transformed. With a quick move, he intercepted both cons.

Drift darted forward to snatch up his pet and then the other six edged back toward the woods to watch.

Runamuck, the gray car, transformed first. There was no warning or threats, Runamuck pulled his gun and charged with a snarl. Wheeljack dodged and fired with his shoulder cannon. Runabout transformed on the run and slammed into Wheeljack, knocking him to the ground.

"We gotta help him!" Bumblebee yelped as Runamuck blasted Wheeljack in the chest.

"We're not trained in combat, yet," Bluestreak moaned.

Hot Rod clenched his hands into fists. "So? We have weapons!"

Wheeljack struggled to get up and fired point-blank into Runamuck's face as he loomed over him. The con stumbled back cursing. Runabout kicked him in the head and Wheeljack rolled over clutching his helm.

Drift looked down at his whimpering terrified pet and reached up to place her high up in a tree. "Stay, Fluffy."

"Don't you dare leave me up here!" She screamed in horror as she clung to a branch. "I hate giant robots!!"

Drift pulled his two swords loose and glanced at the other five mechs. "Let's play," he said with a smirk.

Runabout pulled his gun on Wheeljack and smirked. "You're history, Gramps." Wheeljack groaned.

He snarled as his hand was shot and snapped his head up to see Bluestreak with his sniper's rifle to his shoulder. Bumblebee, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, and Hot Rod all had their guns pulled and Drift hefted his swords.

"I told you before," Hot Rod snarled. "We're the only ones allowed to call him that."

Runamuck sneered. "Look, bro. The sparklings wanna fight."

Runabout grinned back. "Wouldn't wanna disappoint the babies."

"Are you sure about this?" Bumblebee mumbled uneasily.

"If you're scared, you can always hide behind Sides and me," Sunstreaker pointed out cruelly.

Drift lunged with his unnatural speed and slashed at Runabout who spun and fired. The other younglings charged, guns firing wildly. Sunstreaker screeched as Runamuck seized his arm and yanked hard. With a yelp, he was flung over Runamuck's head to land heavily on his back. Sideswipe tackled him from behind snarling angrily. Runabout danced back from Drift and Bluestreak attacked. When Runabout suddenly dove out of the way, Drift's rogue swing made contact with Sunstreaker's arm, cutting it off.

"You FRAGGER! Watch what you're doing!!" Sunstreaker screamed in shock.

Drift darted past. "My bad."

Bumblebee fired after Runamuck and accidentally grazed Hot Rod who growled angrily and spun on him.

"I'm on your side!" Hot Rod yelled.

**Frag this, bro!** Runamuck snarled. **These glitches are short-circuited!**

**You're telling me!** Runabout agreed as he dodged a stray shot. **I'm outta here!**

To the younglings' astonishment, both cons transformed and bailed. They stood there, surprised and then Sunstreaker turned to Drift slowly. Drift flinched.

"Oops?"

"You cut my arm off!" Sunstreaker dove after Drift, who ran away.

Sideswipe walked over to the dismembered arm and picked it up and waved at his twin with it. Sunstreaker about fell down as he skidded to a stop and came after him instead of Drift. "Give me that!"

Bumblebee and Hot Rod ran to their fallen guardian. "Wheeljack?" Bumblebee called, nudging him. "Are you functioning?"

Hot Rod smacked him lightly. "Don't be stupid."

Wheeljack groaned and struggled to get up. Hot Rod and Bumblebee sat him upright. "The… cons…"

"They ran off," Hot Rod said reassuringly.

Wheeljack lifted his head, one optic cracked, and he watched Sideswipe run by with an arm held over his head like some strange trophy with Sunstreaker chasing him. "How? Did you kids fight them?" Wheeljack asked incredulously.

Hot Rod and Bumblebee exchanged a look. "You beat them, we just scared them off," Hot Rod lied. Bumblebee grinned at him.

"Right!"

Bluestreak walked over to the tree and offered his hand up to the human. She glared and kicked his fingers. "Come on," Bluestreak soothed. "I won't hurt you, I promise. I like humans."

"My name's not Fluffy!" She snapped warningly with narrowed eyes.

"Okay," he said agreeably with a small smile.

Joey seemed to realize that if she pissed off the giant robots they might very well leave her way up there, and after watching the battle, pissing them off wasn't exactly something she wanted to do. So reluctantly, she let go of the branch and landed lightly in his palm. He curled his fingers around her, his other hand cupping over her. He walked back to the others, careful not to jostle the tiny human.

Wheeljack looked around at his charges as they gathered around him, Sunstreaker clutching his arm to his chest and huffing angrily. Wheeljack smiled faintly behind his mask. "Let's rest here tonight."

* * *

"What's wrong with Fluffy?" Drift demanded of the girl that was sitting on Bluestreak's leg with her arms crossed. Drift had introduced himself and the others to his pet.

She glared at him. "My name is Joey!" Bluestreak patted her on the head. "And I am not a pet!" She yelled as she swatted at Bluestreak's finger.

"Loud ain't it," Sunstreaker growled. The seven mechs were lounging back against the trees. Sideswipe snickered.

"I am not an 'it'!" She snapped and, without thinking, she snatched off a shoe and chucked it at him. It glanced off his side and his optics narrowed.

Sunstreaker climbed unsteadily to his feet, his dismembered arm held up like a club. "I know you aren't so glitched as to think you can throw stuff at me and live," he hissed and he advanced. With a tiny yelp of terror, she slid off of Bluestreak's leg and darted over to Drift with a scream.

Drift glanced at the human and growled at Sunstreaker. "Leave Fluffy alone."

"You need to teach your pet some respect."

Wheeljack on-lined one optic. "Behave," he mumbled sleepily.

Sunstreaker slumped back beside his brother, sulking.

Joey eyed him from behind one of Drift's arms. "Scary."

Drift reached down and picked her up and placed her calmly on his leg. He patted her head. "Don't worry, Fluffy. Sunny acts like a bad-aft, but he's not."

"I heard that!" Sunny snapped. Bumblebee snickered.

* * *

Author's note: the kids finally got to show their stuff, but Runabout and Runamuck aren't out for the count. What are the cons doing on Earth? Will Wheeljack survive the kids? Can Joey get it through Drift's head that her name isn't Fluffy? Sorry the chappies are so short. Tune in and Review.


	5. Ch4: Shopping Trip of Doom

Disclaimer: Yep, still don't own Transformers. Maybe if I was rich…

Author's Note: Oh, yeah. The kids are going shopping; be afraid, very afraid.

* * *

Ch.4: Shopping Trip of Doom

The mechs eventually drifted into recharge, but Joey was still awake sitting on Drift's leg. She really had to go to the restroom, but didn't want to wake the giant robots up and definitely didn't want to explain what she needed to them. Carefully, she scooted to the edge of his leg and dangled her legs off the edge. With a quiet thud, she landed on the ground. Wary, she glanced up, but none of them had woken up. Sighing in relief, she wandered into the woods.

Drift stretched sleepily, something wasn't right. He opened one optic and stiffened as he realized what was missing. "Fluffy?" He called softly.

Bluestreak woke up and yawned. "What is it?"

"I can't find Fluffy," Drift said, beginning to get worried. "Have you seen her?"

Sideswipe grunted and looked up at the others. "You already lost it?"

Drift scowled. "I didn't lose her. I just…misplaced her."

Sideswipe sat up tiredly. "Alright. I guess we can look for her."

The three mechs stood up and silently slinked into the woods, tracking the human's scent.

A little ways away, a much-relieved Joey buttoned her pants back up and stood in the woods debating. She wasn't sure how far from home she was; they had covered a lot of ground. While the mechs weren't so bad and hadn't hurt her, she didn't like being a pet at all. Plus, there was the matter of those other robots that they had fought. She didn't really know what was going on, but she knew she didn't want to be in the middle of it.

She didn't get to decide, though. She heard booming footsteps behind her. She looked up and Sideswipe grinned down at her. "Found her," Sideswipe said.

_Ah, crap_, she thought as Bluestreak walked up.

Drift stepped out of the woods in front of her and crouched down. "What are you doing way out here, Fluffy-kins?"

She sighed tiredly and waited while Bluestreak bent and picked her up. "Nothing," she said.

They walked back to the others and Bluestreak settled back down in his spot and put Joey on his chest. Drift grumbled and Sideswipe nudged him playfully.

"I think you just lost your pet," Sideswipe whispered and he ducked under Drift's answering swipe with a cackle.

The rest of the night passed without incident. When Wheeljack woke up, he grunted sorely. _Primus, I'm not that old, but I'm too old to throw down. That's going to hurt for a while. _He turned and was surprised to find the six kids clustered together still deep in recharge. They looked perfectly innocent when in recharge, he decided with a gentle smile. Nothing like when they were on-line. Sunny was propped up against a tree with his twin curled against his side. Blue was lying on Side's legs with Bee snuggled close. Hot Rod was sleeping beside Sunny and Drift was sitting a little bit away from Sides with his feet crossed on Bee's side. The little human was curled up against Blue's neck.

Wheeljack clapped his hands loudly, startling the younglings awake. Sunny instantly shoved Sides off him. "Come on, kids. Time to get moving," Wheeljack said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

He watched as the grumbling younglings struggled to detangle themselves. Sideswipe leaned across Bluestreak to snatch a sleepy Joey up and put her on the ground. She yawned. "Hey, you guys do plan on feeding me at some point, right?" She asked, staring up at them.

Sunny glared and reached up with one hand to snap a branch off the tree and he dumped it unceremoniously at her feet. "Enjoy, Squishy."

"Excuse you. Do I look like a goat?" She demanded grumpily.

Sunny leaned forward with a dangerous growl. "If I was that small, I would be quiet and appreciative," he snarled.

"Lighten up, bro," Sideswipe grumbled as he used his twins' dismembered arm as a backscratcher.

Sunny's eyes narrowed. "What the frag are you doing with my arm?"

Drift snatched up his pet as Sunny tackled Sides with a growl. Hot Rod and Bee watched the two scrabble with mild amusement.

"So," Bluestreak said. "where do you get human food?" He tried to ignore the cussing and clawing twins at his feet.

Wheeljack pulled up the human database and scanned for the closest place to find food. "There's a, uh…mall…near here that has food."

"That'll work," she said as she peered over Drift's fingers at Sunny who had his brother in a one-armed headlock.

Wheeljack nudged Sunny in the shoulder with his foot. "Hey, cut that out."

After Wheeljack managed to convince the twins to stop fighting, Drift put Joey on the ground. She watched in wonder as the seven bots transformed. Drift revved his engine at her.

"Okay, that's just cool," she whispered.

Drift opened his passenger side door invitingly, but Hot Rod pulled up alongside them and honked his horn. Drift's front bumper lowered menacingly and his engine snarled. Joey raised her eyebrows at them.

"Cut it out." Drift snapped.

"Quit hogging the human."

"She's my human."

Joey crossed her arms across her chest, her eyes narrowing, and she stalked over to Bluestreak and tapped on the window. Blue opened the door for her and she climbed in. "Jerks," she muttered under her breath and Bluestreak rumbled in sympathy.

Drift and Hot Rod would have gaped if they'd been in robot form. "What? What'd I do?" Drift demanded incredulously.

Wheeljack laughed. "You bots don't have much experience with femmes, huh? No matter what species they are, none of them like being referred to as property," he said.

* * *

"Drift is pouting at you," Bluestreak pointed out and Joey squirmed in her seat.

"I don't care. I'm not a pet," she replied sullenly and she crossed her arms.

"He likes you." Bluestreak replied innocently. "He just...he's Drift."

She glared at his holoform. He looked about eighteen with short brown hair dressed in a gray shirt and black pants with eerie glowing blue eyes. He had a creepy smile glued on his face. "He thinks I'm a pet," she protested.

Bluestreak nodded his head slightly and she looked past his holoform to see Drift had pulled up beside them. Drift's holoform grinned at her. She rolled her eyes and turned her back on him and stared fixedly out the other window at the unfamiliar scenery rolling by.

"Where are we anyway?" She asked after a long silence of staring at the scraggly vegetation.

"Let's see…I think this area is called Texas…" Bluestreak replied.

She whipped around and gaped at him. She had been in southern Georgia when she'd been "adopted" by the bots. _So far from home_, she thought. She wondered what her family was thinking. She hoped they weren't too worried. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back against the seat.

The mall, when they arrived, was huge. She let herself out of Bluestreak and stared up at the mall. They had parked in the back of the lot in a tight knot away from the other cars. She glanced back and twitched when she saw that the holoforms had climbed out of their car forms too.

Wheeljack had no intention of letting the little human out of sight. The last thing he needed was for her to go running to other humans babbling about giant robots. Drift, too had no intention of letting his pet out of sight. The others were motivated by curiosity.

She shook her head at them. "Whoa, there guys. Where are you going? I, uh, mean your holo-thingies won't work too far from your bodies right?" She sputtered.

Wheeljack stepped up behind her. His holoform looked to be in its late thirties with white hair and a goatee. He too had glowing blue eyes and a fixed smile. "Don't worry, this distance won't be a problem." He said reassuringly.

Sunny and Sides were both tall and they looked identical, but Sunny had blonde hair and Sides was a red-head. Drift was muscular with long black hair pulled back at the nape of his neck. Hot Rod had messy brown hair and was wearing sunglasses. Bumblebee was small with neat blonde hair. And they all looked like models with their creepy fixed smiles. Joey, who was craving a shower, glared at them in their fake perfection. _Yeah, my ego needed that_, she thought. _They just have to be cute, don't they?_

She watched people stop and stare at the handsome strangers and she could almost hear the bystanders wondering what she was doing with the cute guys. Drift walked beside her with Bluestreak on the other side. Wheeljack and Sunstreaker led the way and Bumblebee, Sideswipe, and Hot Rod brought up the rear. She rolled her eyes when she caught Drift growling at someone for staring. _Yeah, that's human. Humans growl at each other._

They headed for the food court, Joey feeling like a criminal being escorted to prison. She reached in her back pocket for her wallet and froze. She began digging fearfully in her pockets. She groaned.

"My wallet's gone. It has all my money and my ID in it," she whimpered. _No money, no food. _Her stomach growled.

Bumblebee pursed his lips. "Money?" He glanced around and spotted a human pulling a few green scraps of paper from its pocket and handing it to another human. He turned and watched another human receive more of the green paper from a box set against a wall with the letters "ATM" on it. He stalked over to the machine when the human left, with Joey and the others following. Bumblebee pressed his fingers to the screen as she watched and the screen began to flicker erratically. Her mouth fell open when several crisp twenty dollar bills were ejected from the machine. Bee pulled them loose and handed them to her with a smile. "Is that enough?"

Joey counted three hundred dollars and stared up at him. "Okay, I think I love you guys," she said with a grin. Bumblebee beamed at her.

Wheeljack spotted a bench and headed for it. "Hurry up and get what you need and then come back here." **You kids keep her in your sight**, he ordered over the private connection.

Sideswipe grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the food court with Drift following close on his heels.

* * *

"That's disgusting," Sunstreaker commented as he watched Joey stuffing French fries in her mouth.

"Uh-huh," Hot Rod agreed watching with a horrified fascination.

Sideswipe picked up Joey's espresso and sniffed at it. Without waiting for permission he sipped at it. He shuddered and put it back down. "Slag. That's awful."

She glowered at him. "You owe me a new coffee now."

Sides shivered and made a face and then pulled the cup back toward him

Bumblebee raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said it was bad?"

Sideswipe took a big gulp and shuddered again. "It is," he moaned trembling. "It's horrible," he said and he tipped the cup back. His hands trembled. "Gimme some money."

Joey raised her eyebrows, but pulled a twenty dollar bill loose and Sideswipe snatched it from her. He lurched unsteadily to his feet and darted towards the Starbuck's booth, nearly plowing over some poor woman with a stroller.

After she finished her fries, she stood up and stretched. "I need to grab some stuff. You guys don't have to come if you don't want to."

Bumblebee and Bluestreak ended up following her, while Sunny, Drift, and Hot Rod explored the mall on their own. Joey headed straight to the nearest clothing outlet, the money burning a hole in her back pocket. She thumbed through the shirt racks and looked up to see Bluestreak holding up a bra with a quizzical look. Bumblebee was toying with a pair of lacy panties. Joey's face instantly reddened and she pretended she didn't know them.

Drift and Hot Rod had found a large fountain in the middle of the mall. They both stared up at it. "What the frag do you think it's for?" Drift asked. They watched as a small child ran up and tossed some small round metal objects in the fountain.

Hot Rod adopted a knowing look. "It's obvious," he said. "It's some kind of religious ceremony. Those metal things are offerings. "

Drift tilted his head to one side and edged closer to peer at the silver things glimmering under the water. Sunstreaker slipped up behind him, the little incident with his arm fresh on his mind, and without a word he kicked Drift into the fountain. "Oh, _my bad_," he sneered as he stalked off. Hot Rod laughed out loud.

A security guard saw and hurried over. "Sir! You're not allowed in the fountain!"

Hot Rod and Drift's eyes widened. "Oh, slag!" Hot Rod hissed and he bolted, leaving Drift to fend for himself.

At the Starbuck's booth, the clerk was trying without success to convince Sideswipe that five coffees were enough. "You-you-don't-get-it-I-I-I-need-it!" He stuttered while he shivered uncontrollably.

He lunged across the counter, snatching a whole pot of coffee and he ran off cackling with the clerk screaming at him.

Wheeljack opened one eye when he heard the clerk's scream. He watched as Drift ran by, his Holoform dripping water and a large human in a khaki uniform chasing him. A second later, Sideswipe ran by clutching a container to his chest and cackling.

Wheeljack ran a quick system's check. _Frag._ With a groan, he got to his feet and chased after his charges.

In the end, they had to run from the mall, Joey slung over Bluestreak's shoulder, because she hadn't wanted to leave yet. Wheeljack didn't say a word until they were back on the road. None of the younglings bothered trying to explain themselves. Sunny and Drift kept snarling at each other and Hot Rod was snickering. Sideswipe was swerving from side to side and his whole form was shivering continuously. Joey was sitting sullenly in Bee with a plastic bag clutched to her chest.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. "So, anyone care to explain what happened?" He asked.

* * *

Author's Note: Kids will be kids. Sideswipe's a caffeine fiend, who'd have guessed. Next Chapter: They're almost home free. Now they just have to survive the Ratchet's wrath and figure out what the cons are doing on Earth. What will happen to Joey? Will Ratchet slag Wheeljack? Are Prowl and the other's okay? Tune in and review. As always, love to the readers and the reviewers. Until next chapter.

—Wide Spread Panic


	6. Ch5: Discussion

Disclaimer: Me no own Transformers. Me own Joey and plot. Me talk like Grimlock now. Why? Because it's fun. Lol.

Much love to RescueAngel, Elita One, animaluvr3, Meirelle, whitedino, TFSTARFIRE, and blood shifter for reviewing.

* * *

Ch.5: Discussion

Sideswipe swerved randomly from side to side singing loudly along to the radio over the private link. Every now and then he jerked and shuddered, but he only resumed his singing.

Joey was twisted around in her seat to watch him. "What's wrong with him?" She asked.

"It's that stuff he ingested," Bumblebee said sounding amused. "It's thrown his processor off balance. He should be fine when he recharges. His processor can reset."

She slumped back in her seat. She glanced past Bee's blonde holoform at the speedometer. It said seventy, but then the speedometer in Wheeljack had stayed at seventy too. She peered out the window at the sandy ground zipping by and frowned. "We can't be going seventy," she said, looking at Bee questioningly.

He laughed. "By your human measurements, we're traveling at nearly two-hundred miles per hour."

She sputtered and stared at him. "For real? Wait, how come we haven't been pulled over by the cops?"

Bumblebee laughed at her again. "If they tried to use their primitive radar technology to ascertain how fast we're traveling, it would only say seventy. We're jamming them."

"I wish my car did that," she muttered sullenly. She peered out the window across Bee and spotted Drift pulling up alongside them. Drift's holoform grinned and winked at her. She rolled her eyes and waved back at him.

Bumblebee snickered. "Awww," he cooed with a mischievous look.

She frowned at him. "What?"

"Nothing," he said with a laugh.

* * *

When they finally stopped deep in the desert to rest, Wheeljack happily told them that they would reach the outpost the next day. Wheeljack then stalked off to try to uplink with Optimus' group and explain what had happened.

**Decepticons? Are you positive?** Optimus asked over the link.

Wheeljack nodded even though he knew Optimus couldn't see. **Definitely. I've got the dents to prove it.** **You think they followed us here? Prowl was supposed to take care of that.**

**Let's not jump to conclusions. The Decepticons are just as desperate to find energon as we are. It's possible that they were simply scouting and picked up your energy signatures**, Optimus replied.

**I guess**, Wheeljack said.

**To be on the safe side, I'll send Ratchet and Ironhide out to meet you.**

Wheeljack shuddered. _Ratchet, goody. _**Yes, sir. **The last was said meekly by the engineer.

* * *

The young bots had all settled into a circle to chat. Joey had settled down on Bluestreak's ankle and she slumped back against his leg with her arms behind her head. Even though the sun was setting, she was still panting and sweating from the heat. Drift sat close by on Blue's right with Hot Rod on his left. Drift reached over to absently stroke Joey's head and she swatted at his fingers.

"I'm ready to begin training," Sunstreaker said as he stretched lazily, "so I can kick some Decepti-butt." He nudged his twin with his foot.

Sideswipe groaned and clutched at his head. "Go away," he moaned. "Gah, my helm…"

The other younglings snickered. "You think we'll run into those two cons from before again?" Bumblebee asked intently.

Hot Rod laughed. "I wish we would. We kicked their sorry afts."

Sunny suddenly revved his engine and grinned. "I just remembered. Hey, squishy," he said to Joey, who ignored him. "I found you a present while we were in that human place." She looked up as he took a bag from his subspace and dropped it unceremoniously on the ground in front of her.

She eyed him suspiciously before dumping it out and her eyes narrowed. It was an extra-large pink dog collar and a pink leash. She glared up at him. "Did I tell you that you were a jerk?" She asked with a disgusted look. She pushed her long brown hair out of her blue eyes and flipped him off.

His optics narrowed. "Watch it, squishy. I might _accidentally_ step on you."

Hot Rod meanwhile had bent forward and had picked up the tiny collar between his huge fingers. "Try it on," he suggested and she scowled at him.

"For the hundredth time, I. Am. NOT. A. PET!" She snarled, carefully enunciating each word. "And I'd like to see you even try to put that thing on me…" She muttered, thinking they couldn't hear her.

Hot Rod and Drift exchanged a look and suddenly, their holoforms were standing over her. Hot Rod's holding up the collar and both grinning. Her eyes widened. "You wouldn't dare," she hissed warningly.

* * *

"HELP!"

Wheeljack's head snapped up at the sound of the scream and he ran back to where he'd left the younglings. His imagination summoning hoards of cons that were torturing the younglings. What met his worried optics wasn't hoards of cons though. Hot Rod's holoform had its arms wrapped around the girl keeping her arms pinned, while Drift was trying to put a collar on her as she screamed and thrashed. He felt one optic twitch and thought, _I'm going to have a permanent twitch when this is over._

"Let her go, for Primus' sake," he said severely.

The holoforms looked up, but since they'd already latched the collar, they obliged and disappeared. Without Hot Rod to hold her up, Joey landed on her butt and instantly began clawing at the collar. "It isn't funny!" She snarled when the younglings began snickering at her. She managed to get it off and she tossed it on the ground and stood up. Without a word, she stalked off, her eyes narrowed. They watched her storm off aimlessly into the desert and Drift stood up to follow her.

"Just let her go, who needs her anyway," Sunstreaker sneered.

Wheeljack stared after the human. "Maybe, you _should_ let her go." _Maybe the other humans won't believe her when she starts talking about giant robots. Maybe Ratchet won't slag me for breaking the only rule_, he thought secretly.

Drift turned his back on them and followed his pet and Wheeljack sighed. He hadn't really expected the young bot to give up the human that easily, but he could always hope. Besides, it would be irresponsible to let her go wandering around the desert on her own.

Drift didn't have to go very far to catch up with her. Humans weren't all that fast when compared with his species. He fell into step alongside her and she stiffened. "You know," she said suddenly, "my life wasn't great, but it wasn't that bad. I had a life. I had a job, albeit a horrible one. I was—well, I wasn't happy, but I wasn't being dragged around the country by aliens either. You guys don't even tell me what's going on. None of you bothered to explain that little throw-down with those other aliens or even what you're doing on Earth." She stared up at him and for the first time he saw something besides anger there. Her eyes were tearing up.

"You're leaking," he pointed out awkwardly.

She snorted. "I'm scared!" she snapped and she scrubbed at her eyes with the back of her fist. "You guys are all jerks and you think I'm a pet! I'm not! I'm a person!" She stumbled and fell down and just kept sitting there sniffling.

Drift crouched down beside her and started to pat her on the head, but stopped. "I'm a real slagger, huh?" He asked, more to himself than her.

She glared up at him. "Why me? Why can't you find someone else to torment?"

He stared at her. "I saw you first," he simply said with a small shrug. "I like you. You fight back. Well, you try to anyway." He smirked and stroked her back. "Can we start over? Unlike Sunny, I can be civilized. I'll try to be…nice and I'll try to let you in on what's happening. Seriously, just stop the leaking thing, it's creepy."

She eyed him warily.

He held out his huge hand with his fingers the size of tree trunks in her face. "I'm Drift."

She stared at his hand and then carefully reached out to touch his finger with her hand. "I'm Joey." She hesitated and sighed heavily. "You…can still call me…Fluffy. If you want," she muttered.

He grinned and started to grab her, but stopped and held his hand out for her to step up on her own. She scrabbled up onto his palm and sat down as he stood up.

* * *

**Tell me again why we have to escort them back to the outpost?** Ironhide demanded as he and Ratchet tore down the highway in their alt modes.

Ratchet would have sighed if he could have. **Because, Wheeljack had a run-in with some Decepticons-**

**I know that**, he inerrupted. **We should be out hunting down those cons, that's all I'm sayin.' That decepti-scum needs to be taught that this is our outpost.**

**Ironhide**, Ratchet said with as much patience as he could muster. **Mute it.**

Ironhide huffed and then a thought occurred to him. **You reckon them young bots have driven Jacks out of his processor yet?** He asked with glee.

**Wheeljack can handle the younglings.**

**Crzzt! If you can— **

**What was that, Ratch?**

**I just said that Jacks can handle—**

**No, the other thing.**

**What other thing?** Ratchet demanded, beginning to get irritated.

**The other thing you was saying!**

**I didn't say anything else! Get your audio receptors checked!**

**Crzzzzt! Is Prowl, we—crzzzt!**

**That! That other thing!** Ironhide snapped.

**That wasn't me, you glitch!**

**Ratchet? Crzzt! This is Prowl, do—crzzzt—read me?**

**Prowl? Where are you?** Ratchet demanded.

**We're—crzzzt—to land, but the shuttle—crzzt—bad shape. The shields—crzzt—down. Crzzzt—visible!**

Ratchet and Ironhide fell silent. _Visible? _They turned their sensors upwards in horror. The shuttle was going to come down, but without the shields, the humans would pick it up on their primitive radar. The human military would likely panic and try to shoot them down and without shields—

They both realized what would happen at the same time. **Frag.**

Ratchet slammed on his brakes and threw his sirens and lights on. **Prime! We have an emergency!** Wheeljack and the younglings would have to wait, this was more important. He and Ironhide smoothly spun around in a maneuver no earth vehicle could ever hope to make and headed back for the base.

Optimus' voice boomed across the connection. **Ratchet, what's going on?**

**We just got a distress signal from Prowl, the shuttle's visible and it's coming down!**

**Prowler's not the only one in trouble, boss-bot**, Jazz's voice piped up. **All of a sudden, we're getting distress signals on Teletran from our other outposts!** **What's goin' on?**

* * *

Author's Note: Next chapter: Things just got a whole lot more complicated for our bots. Something has the cons stirred up. Are the Autobot forces too scattered to cope with the sudden boom in Decepticon activity? How long will poor Wheeljack sit in the desert before he realizes Ratchet's not coming? Will Sunny ever get his arm reattached? Will the government shoot the shuttle down before it can land? Tune in. Read and Review and find out.

—Wide Spread Panic-is outta here.


	7. Ch6: Boredom

Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers. I own poor Joey and the plot.

* * *

Ch.6: Boredom

"Decepticons?" Joey repeated questioningly. Drift nodded looking pleased.

"We're Autobots," Drift continued. "Autobots and Decepticons are enemies. Those two we fought were Decepticons."

"Okay," she said. "So why are you guys fighting in the first place?"

"We believe in different things. The cons only care about complete domination. Autobots believe in freedom for all sentient beings."

She pursed her lips. "So… where does declaring other sentient species as pets fit in with the whole freedom for all sentient beings thing?" She asked caustically.

Drift shifted uncomfortably. "You're never going to let that go are you?"

"Nope."

Sideswipe sat up suddenly. "Ooh!" He snatched up Sunstreaker's severed arm and shook it so that the hand flopped around limply on the wrist. He snickered. "I am Megatron," he intoned in a deep voice. "Evil leader of the Decepti-dorks!"

The younglings all snickered, except for Sunny. He scowled at his twin. Sideswipe glanced around and then his optics lit on Joey. Her eyes widened and she tried to dive for cover behind Drift, but Sideswipe grabbed her.

He held her in the air so that her feet dangled just above the ground. "I'm Optimus Prime!" Sideswipe intoned and the younglings grinned. "You're going down, Megatron!" He waggled her around in the air.

"Sides! Quit, you're gonna make me sick!" She shrieked.

"Oh, yeah, Optimus? Well, I've got a fragging huge gun!" Sideswipe declared waving Sunny's arm in the air.

"I swear I'm going to hurl!"

"Optimus wouldn't say that," Sideswipe scolded lightly. "He'd say… um—"

"Die, Megatron, die?" Bumblebee suggested. Joey glared at him and he squirmed.

"You're not helping!" She yelled.

"Die, Megatron, die!" Sideswipe howled and he mimed that Joey and Sunny's arm were fighting. Then he tossed Sunny's arm aside, eliciting a growl from his twin. Sideswipe shuffled Joey around in his grip until she was dangling by her arms. He made her bob from side to side so that it looked like she was doing a crude little dance. "Look at me, I'm an organic femme! Now, watch me dance!" Sides jeered between giggles.

"A little help here?" She begged making puppy eyes at Drift and Bluestreak as Sideswipe started humming.

"Do a pirouette!" Bumblebee suggested and she shot him a filthy look as Sideswipe complied.

The younglings cackled wildly at her and her face reddened. She glared at Drift, but no help was coming from that direction. Bluestreak looked like he wanted to help, but he didn't seem to want to make Sideswipe mad at him. She had no choice, so she pulled her ace. She sucked in a big breath.

"WHEELJACK!!!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.

Wheeljack growled under his breath. He had settled down for a quick recharge, while the younglings chatted. He could hear the girl screaming his name. He could, of course, just ignore her, but he got slowly to his feet and stalked off to figure out what the younglings had done now.

He sighed as he saw Sideswipe dangling Joey off the ground and making her "dance." He growled low and stomped up. "Why?" He demanded with exasperation.

Sideswipe quickly hid Joey behind his back. "What?" He asked innocently. "What'd I do?"

_Where the frag is Ratchet and Ironhide?_ Wheeljack wondered as he held his hand out expectantly. "Hand her over."

Sideswipe stuck his bottom lip out, but put Joey in Jacks' hand. She huffed and crossed her arms angrily. "Fragger," she muttered at Sideswipe and all seven bots stared at her in shock.

Wheeljack's optics narrowed. "Okay, who taught the organic Cybertronian curses?" He demanded.

Unnoticed by any of the bots, a black mechanical bird perched on a cactus was watching them intently with its glowing red eyes and recording everything for its master.

* * *

"Prowl!" Red Alert called from his post at the control panel. "The local human military base has gone to full alert!"

Prowl growled. "I see it. Perceptor? We need those shields!"

"I'm attempting to rectify that, sir," Perceptor said. "If we don't slow our descent, I fear we might crash land with sufficient force to—"

"We know!" Red Alert snarled. "Just fix it!"

Perceptor flinched and turned hurriedly back to the instrument panel he was working on.

"We have human military aircraft headed for us!" Red Alert yowled from his panel.

Perceptor bent over the panel, desperately rerouting power and trying to get the boosters online.

"Perceptor!"

"Almost," he mumbled, his swift fingers flying over the controls. "Boosters and shield online!"

A loud rumble filled the air as the boosters came online followed by the shields. To the pilots of the F-14 raptors that had been closing in on the shuttle, it came as a shock when the target simply vanished from sight and radar.

"Uh, did you just see…" Began one human pilot uneasily.

"No. I didn't see anything," muttered the other, trying to convince himself.

* * *

Author's note: Just a short little chappie before I have to go to work. I blame this chapter on the plot bunnies; they attacked me, duct-taped me to a chair and hijacked my computer. The next one will be the longest chapter I've done so far, because I have a lot I want to cover. I'm hoping this will tide you over until I finish it. Read and Review! I really appreciate all the reviews, since this is my first fanfic.


	8. Ch7: Bonds

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers. I own poor little Joey and the plot.

* * *

Ch.7: Bonds

The shuttle, or rather the tattered remains of it, came down clumsily despite Perceptor's best efforts, but it remained thankfully invisible to the human military. Ratchet and Ironhide were waiting in vehicle mode and tracking the shuttle's process carefully. Prowl was the first one off when the ramp lowered. His wing panels held proudly up and his blue optics cold and calculating. He was followed by a twitchy and agitated Red Alert and a subdued Perceptor.

"Something has changed," Prowl said without any kind of ado. "The Decepticons have been relatively quiet for some time now, but something has stirred them up."

Ironhide nodded and Ratchet said, "Jazz was saying that several of our outposts are reporting Decepticon attacks. It's odd, though, there doesn't seem to be much logic behind their targets. It's almost as if they're just attacking blindly."

Prowl's optics dimmed and he sighed heavily. "You may be right."

Red Alert scowled, but Perceptor's optics brightened "You have reason to believe that the attacks' main function is as a distraction?" He asked.

Prowl nodded stiffly and turned to Ratchet. "The shuttle can't be detected by the humans for the time being. We need to find alt modes and debrief with Prime."

* * *

Prowl glanced around the makeshift command center. In front of him was Optimus Prime himself and arrayed behind him were the other mechs stationed on the outpost. Prowl's optics travelled across Cliffjumper, Hound, Mirage, Cosmos, Beachcomber, and Jazz. Most of the mechs who'd been appointed to man the base had yet to arrive; due to Decepticon ambushes, they were forced to arrive in small shuttles to avoid attention.

A tiny number of mechs, but he didn't see the mechs he was looking for. "Where are Wheeljack and the younglings?" Prowl asked.

Ratchet shook his head slightly. "We were on our way to escort them here when we received your message. They're probably still sitting out there."

"It will be a wonder if those little glitches haven't deactivated Wheeljack," Red Alert muttered earning a smirk from Jazz.

"Are they that bad?" Prime asked with a small smile that was hidden behind his face plate.

Red Alert pointed at Perceptor, who flinched. "They welded him to a wall." All the other mechs stared curiously at the scientist, who stared at the floor.

Jazz grinned. "Sounds like the new recruits will keep this place lively. Who are they?"

Red Alert scowled and a data pad appeared in his hand from his subspace. Several of the mechs present rolled their optics. "Four are fresh from the Iacon academy. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, who are twins, have been disciplined over two thousand, four hundred and twenty-two times at the academy for various pranks and misbehavior. Bumblebee and Bluestreak have nothing against their records, but when in close contact with the twins have resorted to their level. The other two were foundlings of Kup. Drift, we know nothing about, we have no records of any training or his creators. Hot Rod has been with Kup's team for some time and was highly recommended by Ultra Magnus—"

"Red, easy. We don't need the kids' entire history." Jazz said with a laugh.

"At any rate," Prime said, "We should go and bring Wheeljack's team back here, especially if there are Decepticons in the area. Jazz, Prowl, Ratchet and Ironhide transform and roll out."

* * *

The good thing about the sun setting was that Joey wouldn't get baked anymore; the bad thing was that it got surprisingly cold surprisingly quick in the desert. Still, she wasn't going to give in and crawl back to her warm comfy spot with one of the bots. Since the "dance" lesson courtesy of Sideswipe, she'd been sitting stiffly with her back to them and ignoring their pleas for forgiveness.

Unfortunately, sitting on a rock in the baking sun for hours wasn't all that comfortable and she needed to go to the restroom, but every time she'd shifted or started to get up, the younglings had all turned toward her like expectant puppies and she'd sit back down. She was trying desperately to figure out a way to get away from them long enough to go without one of them getting worried and following her. She was fairly sure she wouldn't be able to go with one of her big metal nursemaids hovering nearby. Just the thought of it made her shudder in disgust.

Finally, swallowing her pride, she stood up. She slid off her perch and began walking. Predictably, she felt seven sets of optics burning into her back. She waited for it as she walked.

"Hey, where are you going, squishy?" Sunstreaker called after her.

"To do disgusting human things in those scraggly little bushes," she snapped and she pointed, knowing that that answer would keep them from following.

"Slag, too much info!" Sunny snarled after her disgustedly.

She allowed herself a tiny grin of victory as she walked. _That'll show you to be nosey_, she thought smugly.

Joey wandered off farther than she had meant to. Even though she knew they were giant alien mechs and probably couldn't care less, they acted enough like human guys to make her self-conscious and nervous.

After she was done, she slipped back towards the camp, but she hesitated when she heard a low growl; a growl laced with a mechanical whirr. She froze and turned slowly to look. A huge black animal constructed entirely of metal was crouched behind her with long metal fangs bared and intense red eyes glowing.

She held up her hands and backed up cautiously. "Nice, uh, cat… dog… panther…whatever you are," she mumbled. As she backed up, she noticed the purple insignia gleaming on its shoulder and her heart seized. She remembered what Drift had told her earlier:

"_This is the Autobot symbol," he had said and he'd indicated the red face on his armor. "If you ever see any other kind of symbol on a mech—"_

"_Run like slag," Sunstreaker had interrupted with a smirk._

_Oh, crap_, Joey thought.

She took Sunny's advice and spun on her heel with a strangled scream and bolted. She heard the thing snarl and the loud thud of its paws as it chased her. It lunged and cut her off and she about fell down as she tried to stop and change direction. She scrambled, regained her footing and ran like hell in a random direction that the giant panther-thing wasn't in.

She scrabbled up a sandy dune and shrieked as the beast pounced after her and knocked her tumbling down the other side.

* * *

The younglings were laughing and joking, but Sunstreaker paused and lifted his head listening. He scowled and his optics paled slightly. He rose stiffly and began walking, leaving the others confused.

* * *

Joey crashed into something hard and unyielding and she looked up to see a mech that was larger than her, but tiny compared to the others she had seen. It looked just as surprised to see her as she was to see it. Its glowing red eyes narrowed and she spotted the purple symbol.

It grinned suddenly and seized her by the back of her neck. She was hauled off the ground and she found herself dangling from his grip. "Hey, you're the Autobot's pet human Lazerbeak spotted," he said. "Hey, Frenzy!" He yelled.

She saw an identical looking mech of a different color stalking toward them with a frown on its face. "Where'd you find that mangy thing, Rumble?" The new mech demanded sounding disgusted.

"Rumble" held her out at arm's length. "It's the Autobot's pet, bro!"

Frenzy smiled suddenly, a nasty, cruel little smile. "Where'd you find it?"

"Little glitch came running right to me," he snickered.

A small whimper of anger and fear escaped Joey's lips, but a loud roar drowned it out. The two tiny mechs and the panther-thing looked up to see Sunstreaker stalking up the dune with his optics glowing with white fire. "Give it back," he said and he had his severed arm held like a club.

She growled at the "it" comment, but she had never been gladder to see the egotistical mech.

Rumble growled and his grip on her neck tightened painfully. "Oh, yeah? Why don't you come over here and make me?"

"Sunny!" She choked out desperately.

"Autobots," snarled a new voice, this one highly synthetic and matter of fact sounding. A large, boxy mech with a face plate walked stiffly up to them and he held a weapon in his hand. "Surrender or die."

Sunstreaker snarled and brandished his arm. "Give back the squishy!"

"Or what?" Frenzy snapped.

"Or we'll kick the slag out of you."

Sunstreaker turned to see Wheeljack and the others standing behind him with weapons raised at the Decepticons. Joey let a whimper of pleasure escape her. They had come to rescue her. She spotted Drift and the look of bloodthirsty fury on his face and felt suddenly glad she wasn't the one he was angry with.

A loud roar filled the air and she looked up to see three jets headed straight for them. For one terrifying moment, she thought they'd crash and kill them all, but the jets pulled up at an angle no human aircraft could have accomplished and slowed down. With a mechanical screech, the jets transformed and Joey stared. She hadn't known the aliens could be anything other than cars.

One, that was red and white, landed heavily and towered over them all. "Well, what do we have here? A washed out engineer and a bunch of sparklings who want to play war?" He sneered in a shrill nasally voice with his dental plates bared at them. The other two jets chuckled.

Sunny suddenly lunged and he slung his severed arm at Rumble. The startled con dropped the human girl as the arm smashed into him and knocked him over. She was on her feet and running for the nearest friendly mech in the next instant. She threw herself headlong at Sunny and he grabbed her roughly with his remaining hand and she was dumped on the shoulder of his missing arm. She shrieked and fell flat on her face, grabbing the ridge around his neck desperately.

"Hold on," Sunny snarled and then she was engulfed in a nightmare of firing weapons and yelling. As Sunny ducked and dodged blasts, she swung helplessly from his shoulder, clinging like glue and praying that she didn't fall.

Wheeljack ducked a dodge from Thundercracker and fired on Soundwave. He turned and cursed as Skywarp teleported behind him and raised his arms to fire on him, but a sudden blast, sent the seeker stumbling back with a snarl. Wheeljack turned and felt his optics widen. Standing there behind him with guns raised were Optimus Prime, Jazz, Prowl, Ratchet and Ironhide.

The other Autobots joined the battle and the cons quickly realized the situation had changed. Starscream wasn't stupid enough to think he could win a battle when he was so out numbered and it wasn't long before the air commander began screaming for retreat. Wheeljack relaxed, until he saw the queasy looking human clinging to Sunstreaker's armor. He glanced at Ratchet and terror seized his spark.

He hailed the younglings over a private connection. **Hide the human!**

Sunstreaker turned to glare at him, but Sideswipe snatched Joey off his brother's shoulder and hid her behind his back. The younglings all gathered together in a tight knot, trying to hide the Sideswipe and Joey from view.

"Prime!" Wheeljack exclaimed with relief, trying to keep the other mechs' attention on him rather than the younglings. "You guys cut it a little close."

Optimus Prime smiled behind his face plate. "We can debrief back at the base. You look like you could use a little energon."

Wheeljack's vocal indicators blinked merrily. "You could say that again, sir."

The Autobots began to transform, the younglings still in a large group. Sideswipe remained at the center and Joey was shoved in his backseat. "Stay down and be quiet," Bumblebee whispered as he transformed.

She stretched out in the narrow, cramped floor of Sideswipe's alt mode with a sour mutter, but otherwise kept silent. Sideswipe flicked the radio on to keep her preoccupied on the trip to the base.

When they arrived, Jazz was appointed to show the younglings their quarters. As he walked down the gray corridor, he glanced over one shoulder at the younglings. "Wouldn't you kids like to transform?" He asked. All six younglings had remained in their alt modes.

"Nope. We're fine," Sideswipe said quickly.

Jazz arched an eye ridge behind his visor at them, but let it drop.

**Think he's on to us?** Bluestreak asked uneasily.

**Nah, we're great!** Sideswipe said quickly.

Jazz led them to their rooms and each disappeared uneasily into his room. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe's room was last, the two twins rushed into the room without a word, leaving a much bewildered Jazz to stand there looking confused.

Sideswipe opened his door and Joey clawed her way out and stretched sorely. "What was that about?" She demanded, still trembling nervously from the fight.

Sunstreaker transformed, glowered at her and went to flop over on a large metal berth. Sideswipe transformed and stooped to pick her up and he slumped down on his berth and placed her in the middle of his chest. "The others can't know about you," he explained with a tired rumble of his systems.

She frowned down at Sideswipe as his optics dimmed. "Why's that?"

She didn't get to find out why that was, though. The door slid open and Jazz stepped into the room. "Sunstreaker, was it? Ratchet wants to see you in the med bay so he can reattach… your… arm," he trailed off and he stared at the human woman sitting in the middle of Sideswipe's chest. "Oh, slag," Jazz whispered.

* * *

Author's note: Uh, oh. Tune in to find out what happens to Joey, Jacks and the younglings and what the cons are up to. Read and review! –Wide Spread Panic


	9. Ch8: Tipping Point

Disclaimer: I don't own the bots, just the pet human.

Author's Note: The slag's going to hit the fan this chapter. RUN, WHEELJACK, RUN!

* * *

Ch.8: Tipping Point

Sideswipe turned on one side and Joey slid off his chest to land on her butt on the berth. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker both shot to their feet, snarling loudly.

Jazz backed up carefully with his hands up. "Easy there, the Jazz-man's cool," he said.

"Go get a welding torch," Sunstreaker snapped at his brother.

"Hey, now. There's no need for that. We're cool," Jazz insisted as he edged away eliciting angry revs from both twins. Jazz edged farther from the twins and closer to Joey. She backed up on the berth warily eyeing the three mechs. "You know the Hatchet's gonna offline you two when he finds out, right?" Jazz asked in a casual tone.

"He's not going to find out about it," Sunstreaker insisted.

Jazz smiled faintly. "Hey, I'm no rat." He turned toward Joey and smiled down at her. "I'm Jazz, what's your name, lil' lady?"

"Joey," she answered timidly at the same time Sideswipe said, "Fluffy."

Jazz glanced from Sides to Joey as she frowned up at him and he smiled thinly back. "So, why are you here in our base?" He asked.

She decided that he seemed okay and the twins had stopped snarling, though both were tense. She jerked a thumb at the twins. "I'm the pet," she said caustically, her tone dripping sarcasm.

Jazz pursed his lips and glanced between her and the twins in amusement. "Pet, huh? Well, you guys can't keep humans as pets, I'm afraid. See, Optimus has this sayin'. Says that freedom is the right of all sentient beings."

She smirked, already she liked this mech.

He grinned down at her. "Anyone else know about her?"

Sideswipe snorted and slumped backwards against his twins' berth, apparently deciding the new mech wasn't dangerous. "Wheeljack, Drift, Hot Rod, Bluestreak, Bumblebee," Sides replied with an indifferent shrug.

Jazz sighed and shook his head slowly. "Primus, Hatchet's gonna slag Jacks for this," he muttered.

"What's wrong?" Joey asked worriedly. "Why is Wheeljack in trouble?"

Jazz turned toward her. "They weren't supposed to make contact with humans. Period. None of us are. Prime's orders."

Joey stared up at Sides with slight trepidation. "Is Wheeljack going to be okay? This Hatchet guy won't really hurt him, right?"

Sideswipe glanced at Jazz and then back at her. "I've never dealt with him. The guy's supposed to be like the medic from the pit, though."

Jazz nodded solemnly. "The Hatchet is one scary mech. He can make grown mechs cry like sparklings. He's got crazy-scary aim when fritzed, too."

Jazz nodded and held up his hands. "Look, you guys can trust me. Mech's honor, but if you don't report to the med bay Ratchet will come looking for you and drag you there."

The twins seemed to deliberate and then Sideswipe nodded. He turned toward Joey and held up a finger warningly. "Stay," he said to her with mock-severity. She rolled her eyes and flipped him off to Jazz's delight.

"A femme after my own spark," he called over his shoulder with a laugh as he left.

Joey blushed and stared at the door uncertainly. "Uh, thank you?"

* * *

The thing about boredom is that it is enough to convince one that their brain is slowly dying. Joey laid flat on her back on Sideswipe's berth and stared at the dull gray metal ceiling which matched the dull gray metal walls and the dull gray metal floor. It certainly wasn't very stimulating. She rolled over onto her stomach and rested her chin on her folded arms. She wasn't sure how long Sides and Sunny had been gone, but she was starting to get worried. She was getting hungry and starting to feel the familiar "really need to go" feeling. Not a comforting thought when trapped on essentially a metal ledge that was way too high to jump from and not receive serious injury. She crawled on all fours to the edge and decided that no, it hadn't magically gotten any closer to the ground.

She glanced around and spotted a giant chair near one end of the berth. She walked to that end and peered down at the seat of the chair. It was roughly four feet shorter than the berth and about three feet away. Not too far, but way too far if she jumped and missed. Then there was the problem of getting down from there. She debated and paced and finally took a running leap and landed ungracefully in the chair. Since there was no one to mock her, she did a little victory dance. She walked to the chair's edge and peered down. She got down on her stomach so she could peer under the chair at the legs. The chair's legs were braced with a thick bar of metal about four feet thick. It was very far below her, though.

She sat down on the chair's edge and swung her legs. The need-to-go urge became stronger and she flopped on her back with a groan. "Argh…" She closed her eyes miserably.

* * *

"Argh!" Sunstreaker snarled as the medic accidentally scratched his paint. He growled at the other bot and Ratchet's optics narrowed.

"Don't you growl at me," the medic said warningly.

"Don't scratch my paint, you hack!" Sunstreaker snapped.

Ratchet's optics paled and he went still. "What did you call me?" He demanded quietly.

"A hack, you geezer-bot," Sunstreaker snarled. Maybe he wasn't thinking. Maybe he'd gotten complacent from dealing with Wheeljack, but he should have known better. Sideswipe groaned.

Ratchet's hand shot out and he seized one of the black horn-like protrusions on the side of the yellow mech's head and yanked Sunny down to his eye level. "Maybe you haven't heard or maybe you're glitched," Ratchet growled, "but you do NOT frag with me." He snatched a tool off his cart and slammed it bluntly upside Sunny's head. The yellow mech yelped angrily as his twin about fell off the medical berth he had been sitting on as he howled with laughter.

Ratchet whirled around to smack Sideswipe with the same tool. "And just what the frag do you think you're doing in my med bay? You don't look like you're about to offline! Get out," the medic roared, waving the tool threateningly as Sideswipe scrambled backwards and out of reach with wide optics.

The twins exchanged shocked looks. Over a private connection, they shared one thought that would become their future goal. **Revenge. **Without quite realizing it, Ratchet had doomed himself to a lifetime of pranks courtesy of the twins.

* * *

Joey dangled by her hands off the edge of the chair. After staring at it for a long time, she'd decided that it wasn't that far. Unfortunately, her fear of heights had kicked in as soon as she'd slung her legs over the edge. Thus, she found herself hanging with tears of fear streaming from her eyes and utterly paralyzed. _Oh, this is wonderful_, she thought miserably. _I can ride around in the hands of giant aliens, but now I get scared._

Fortunately, or rather unfortunately, her fingers were beginning to go numb. As she lost her grip and fell, she screamed. Her fall was cut short and she slammed into the metal brace. She just stayed there on the brace, with her hair hanging in her face. She sobbed. _I hate giant robots!_

Once she calmed somewhat she peered down at the ground. Only about seven or eight feet to go, she decided. She sat up stiffly and deliberated. She could jump and probably hurt herself, or sit there and pee on herself. She cringed at the idea._ I'm going to kill them for this_, she thought. _I just have to figure out how. Heck, they're metal, maybe I'll take a can opener to their sorry butts._

She took a deep breath, swung her legs over the edge, closed her eyes and pushed off. She landed on her feet, stumbled forward with her arms wind milling and did a face-plant. She stayed sprawled on her stomach, spread-eagled while she tried to decide whether she had broken anything or not. Cautiously, she got to her feet with a moan. She rubbed her knees and looked around. She glared up at the giant door and staggered over to it. She tipped her head back; she wasn't sure how to open it.

The door slid open noiselessly and it startled her so badly she fell on her butt. She gawked at it and then, scrambled to her feet and peeked out into the corridor. Sideswipe had told her to stay, but she was fairly sure he wouldn't want her to pee in his and Sunny's room. She bit her lip and stepped into the corridor. No sooner was she outside than the door slid shut making her jump. She glared at it and then stared at one long corridor that stretched indefinitely off and turned to see more of the same in the other direction.

_Goody._

She arbitrarily picked a direction and began walking and looking for a restroom or at the very least, one of the mechs she knew who could take her to a restroom.

* * *

Red Alert sat behind his desk filling out a report. On a screen behind him, security cameras fed a continuous series of video from the entire base. Nowhere in the base could be found that he couldn't monitor. Some would call in obsessive, but he thought that if you had to do a job you might as well do it as thoroughly as possible. He had immediately rigged the entire base and set up his security network before he'd even seen his own quarters.

On one screen, a tiny shape moved slowly up a corridor. Red froze and turned his head, somehow instinctively knowing something was amiss. His optics went wide as he saw the small shape and he toppled over off his chair. He was on his feet and out the door with his gun in hand the next instant.

**Prime!** He shouted across the communication frequency the base was using. **We have a situation!**

* * *

Bluestreak had just settled into his room and he was wondering how the others were doing. He was lonely by himself and wondered if anyone else would be in the rec room.

He opened the door and blinked as he spotted Joey wandering the halls by herself. He darted over and picked her up. "What are you doing out here?"

"I have to go!" She wailed unhappily. "I need a restroom!"

Bluestreak frowned and then his optics widened. He cupped his hands around her and ran down the corridor.

Meanwhile Red Alert, Ironhide and Prime arrived in the deserted corridor. Red was hunting around on his hands and knees and Prime just looked perplexed. "But how could a human have gotten in here?" He asked.

Red growled. "They're tricky little slaggers! It probably crawled in from one of the air vents," he said and he crouched and shined a light in one of the vents.

Ironhide twirled a finger in the air by his head in a human gesture he'd learned. Optimus fought back a smile and shot him a stern look.

Optimus glanced up and down the corridor. "Well, if you find it…"

"It's here!" Red Alert insisted viciously. "I saw it! I did!"

"Of course, you did. Maybe you ought to get Ratchet to look at yer head?" Ironhide suggested.

"I'm telling you I saw it!"

* * *

Bluestreak took Joey outside and yet again she was forced to go outside behind a bush. I'd kill for toilet paper, she thought as she walked back to where Blue was waiting. She climbed tiredly into his hand and he immediately cupped his hands together to hide her as he reentered the base.

Mirage was heading out as Blue came in and the other mech looked at him curiously. "What do you have there?" Mirage asked.

Bluestreak's wing panels shot up tensely. "Nothing!" He replied quickly and he edged around the other mech and all but ran down the corridor. Drift and Hot Rod were running up the hall from the other direction and they grabbed the young sniper.

"Where are Sunny and Sides? They're not in their room and I can't find Fluffy," Drift whispered.

Bluestreak shook his head. "I don't know where they are, but I've go her," he said. He opened his hands a little so Drift and Hot Rod could see.

Drift held out his hands. "Give her here."

Hot Rod shook his head and nodded at Mirage who was still standing at the exit and watching them. The three young mechs began edging away down the corridor. Mirage watched them go and hesitated once they were out of sight. Curiosity won out. He smirked and activated his invisibility and slinked after them.

* * *

Wheeljack was in heaven. He was standing in the middle of his new lab and simply gazing at the brand new equipment in awe. He didn't get to admire it long though. He heard loud angry voices outside going up the hall and he poked his head out the door.

"I know I saw it!" Red Alert was saying to Ironhide as they walked.

"Now, Red. How could a human get in here?" Ironhide asked sounding exasperated.

Wheeljack froze. "A human?" He repeated in a tiny voice.

Red turned toward him, optics blazing with anger. "Yes! There's a human loose in the base! I saw it!"

Ironhide sighed and tugged on Red's arm. "Come on, let's go see Ratchet."

"I am not malfunctioning!" Red Alert protested as he was dragged off.

Wheeljack felt one optic twitch ever so slightly. He waited until they were out of sight and then he took off running to find the younglings.

* * *

Mirage followed the younglings like a shadow. The young sniper, Bluestreak, kept his hands cupped together and all three seemed agitated. They rounded a corner and ran into the engineer, Wheeljack.

"Bluestreak," Wheeljack hissed. "Red was saying there was a human loose in the base." Mirage edged closer to hear better.

"It's okay," whispered Drift. "We've got her." Bluestreak opened his hands a little and Mirage bit back a gasp. A little human female was sitting in the sniper's palm.

She glared up at them. "When can I go home?" She asked.

Wheeljack ignored her. "Do you know what kind of trouble I'd be in if anyone found her?" He asked with a small shake of his head.

Mirage began backing away.** Prime? This is Mirage. I think we have a small problem.**

* * *

Drift and the other two younglings headed for Drift's quarters to put Joey there for the time being and Wheeljack headed for his lab. His new mission was to design some sort of waste disposal unit for the human. The little femme had insisted, she'd also demanded something called toilet paper. The door slid open and he stepped inside and froze.

Optimus Prime, Red Alert, Prowl, Ironhide, and Ratchet were standing in the lab. Ratchet had his arms crossed and his optics narrowed.

"One rule," Ratchet said with a look that promised pain. "I gave you one simple rule."

"Does protocol mean anything to you?" Red Alert snarled.

"Where is the human, Wheeljack?" Optimus asked tiredly.

Wheeljack felt the energon in his system go cold. _Slag._

"What the FRAG where you thinking?" Ratchet snarled and he lunged. Ironhide grabbed the medic around the middle and held him back as Wheeljack edged behind Prime. "Oh, for Primus' sake! I'm a medic, I'll fix him when I'm done!" Ratchet yelled as his fingers strained for Wheeljack's neck. "Just let me get my hands on him!"

"What human?" He demanded, desperately playing the ignorance card.

Optimus turned to look at him. "Mirage saw the younglings with it, so you might as well make this easier for everyone and tell us where she is," the Autobot commander said.

At that moment, Ratchet managed to yank free of Ironhide. Wheeljack yelped and turned to run, but Ratchet pounced on him. The other mechs winced as Wheeljack shrieked.

* * *

Drift was laying flat on his back on the berth in his room. The Hot Rod and Bluestreak had rounded up the other younglings and they were clustered uncomfortably close in the small room. Joey was sitting on Drift's chest with her fingers pressed to his armor and feeling the vibrations of his voice.

"We need to figure out some kind of system. She's my pet, er, friend," Drift corrected himself as she slapped his chest with her palm. He smiled apologetically. "If we keep her in one particular room, someone will find out about her—"

The twins squirmed. "Someone already does," Sideswipe admitted and he held up his hands as the other younglings looked at him and his twin. "Jazz walked in and saw her, but he seemed cool."

Drift growled.

"We can pull shifts. You know, each of us taking turns keeping her in our room," Bumblebee suggested.

Hot Rod nodded. "We can work out the details later, we just—"

There was a knock on the door, silencing the young bots. They all glanced at the door warily.

"It's Wheeljack," came a voice on the other side of the door. "Come out… and… bring Joey."

The younglings exchanged looks and slowly got to their feet and opened the door. Drift holding Joey in the palm of his hand. Outside their room in the corridor was a battered Wheeljack, and behind him was Optimus Prime, an irate Ratchet, Ironhide, an unhappy Jazz, Prowl, and a victorious looking Red Alert. Drift's face became horrified and he and the other younglings stared at Wheeljack in disbelief.

Optimus held out his hand. "Hand over the human, please."

Wheeljack stared fixedly at the ground and his vocal indicators blinked miserably. "Sorry," he whispered.

* * *

Author's Note: What will happen to Joey? What are the cons up to? All will be revealed the next chapter. Tune in and review. Loves to the reviewers! I probably wouldn't have made it this far if not for the positive feedback. You guys ROCK!


	10. Ch9: Family

Disclaimer: All together now: Wide Spread Panic does NOT own Transformers.

Author's Note: This is it. The final chapter of "Are We There Yet." I want to thank everyone who reads and my reviewers for the support; without it I would not have finished. Before you start missing Joey and the bots, don't worry. Tune in for my next story in this series: How Far We've Come.

* * *

Ch.9: Family

Drift clutched Joey to his chest and a tiny whine escaped his systems. His optics flickered from face to face. Sunstreaker, now with both arms, snarled and he and Hot Rod stepped forward with little growls.

Optimus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Stand down and hand over the human," he said. Ironhide raised his gun warningly.

Bluestreak trembled and Drift bit his lip. Finally, he held his hands out and opened them. A confused Joey stared up at the new bots. Ratchet held his hands out and she found herself being carefully handed over to the new bot.

She glanced back at Drift. "What's going on?" She asked.

Ratchet turned and walked back down the corridor. Joey stared up at the medic with his pale optics and the chevron on his forehead. "Where are we going?" She asked with a tremble in her voice.

Ratchet glared down at her. "You are going home."

She blinked and twisted to try and stare back at the younglings, but the medic's bulk blocked her view. "Um, don't I get to say goodbye first?"

His optics softened somewhat. "We've already meddled too much. I can erase your memories if necessary, but I'd rather not," he said. "Know that no one will believe you if you talk of what you've seen. I apologize for any trauma."

**Cosmos**, Ratchet called. **I have a special mission for you.**

Joey stared at the medic's fingers in silence. _Home, _she thought, but she couldn't somehow feel very excited about it.

* * *

"Ore-13?" Repeated Optimus as he sat behind his desk. Mirage, fresh from infiltrating the Decepticon bunker, stood at attention in front of him.

Mirage nodded. "The Decepticons have discovered and have begun to refine this new ore into a very potent type of energon."

Prowl, standing slightly behind Mirage, stepped forward. "This can not be allowed," Prowl said. "We must take action."

Optimus interlaced his fingers as he considered his options.

* * *

Ironhide stood at the head of the group of younglings, instructing them in proper military procedure and how to handle their weapons. Unfortunately, the younglings didn't seem to be paying attention. Bumblebee nearly shot Hot Rod in the foot with his gun. The twins were glowering silently at the ground, and Drift kept clenching and unclenching his hands.

"You see," Jazz muttered as he gestured at the younglings from the entryway. "They just… they're sulking. They can't fight like that."

Ratchet's shoulders hunched forward. "There's nothing we can do about it," he said.

Jazz dimmed his optics. "Maybe." He tipped his head to one side. "What's that thing on your windshield?"

The medic huffed as he tugged a tiny yellow piece of paper out from under one of his wiper blades. "Fragging humans. You stop somewhere in your alt mode for a vorn or two and the humans plaster you with these things."

"Yeah, humans have some weird laws. There's no understanding them," Jazz replied. He pursed his lips. "I think I have an idea."

"Where are you going?"

Jazz smirked. "I need to discuss something with Prime."

* * *

The mech named Cosmos had taken her back to "natural environment," i. e. the wreckage of the gas station and had left her there. The gas station was still in ruins from the younglings, but now yellow police tape had been wrapped around it. She glanced around the cracked parking lot and realized her car wasn't there. She stood there staring and then sighed, turned and began the two mile walk to town.

Life has a way of continuing and pulling everyone else along with it. Days became weeks and still no word from the mechs. Finally, she gave up on seeing them again. Her family had fussed over her when she'd first come back, but now things were going back to normal. There was no job now, but on the bright side, the security tapes from the gas station had been destroyed by Drift in his over-zealous attempt to catch her so she didn't have to explain about giant robots. She had had to come up with an elaborate story involving kidnapping (which was kind of true) and a freak tornado (which was utter bull).

She has passed from missing them to being angry with them. After all, they had crashed into her life and had put her in danger and had nearly gotten her killed, but she knew that she couldn't hate them.

Today was warm and slightly muggy and she had dressed in only a black tank top and cut-off denim shorts. She and her older sister had gone shopping; the trip concocted in an effort to cheer Joey up. She appreciated her friend's attempt and was trying to be happy for her. They had just exited a shopping center and her older sister, Danielle, was chatting on and on about some boy she was currently infatuated with, but Joey wasn't listening.

"Oh, wow. Who are they?" Danielle asked suddenly, startling Joey.

She glanced up and followed her friend's gaze. She was staring across the parking lot where a group of men where lounging against expensive sports cars. A red and yellow car sat side by side. A smaller yellow car, a red hot rod with flames painted on it, a white and green car, a silver sports car, a red and blue semi, an ambulance and a red and white car all sat close by in a circle. Her eyes met the unnaturally bright blue eyes of a young man with long black hair that was pulled back at the nape of his neck. The other men slowly looked up at her. She gasped.

"Joey? You okay?" Danielle asked, but Joey didn't hear.

She was dimly aware of the sound the bag she'd been holding made as it hit the ground, but she was already running headlong toward the man with black hair who leaned back against the red and white sports car. He held out his arms to her and that smug little smile danced on his lips. Without really thinking, she flung herself at Drift's holoform and hugged him.

"What are you guys doing here?" She asked. "I thought I'd never see you guys again."

A tall dark-skinned man in a suit winked at her. "Miss us, lil' lady?"

"Jazz?" She asked incredulously.

The holoform of a tall, older man with a square face and gray hair. "I have a job offer, Miss Joey," the holoform said and she recognized the voice from before. "I am Optimus Prime and if you're willing I would like to make you our official public relations representative."

She blinked at him with a frown. Wheeljack smiled. "He means that when we have questions about human-related things, you'd explain. Human laws, rituals, behaviors, that sort of thing," the engineer explained.

Drift held up a chain with a small red emblem in the shape of the Autobot symbol about as thick as a quarter. On the back were the words: Autobot Fluffy. She took it carefully from him and stared up at the holoforms. Ratchet shook his head grumpily.

"Does that mean I get to see you guys?" She asked cautiously. Danielle was slowly walking over with a puzzled look on her face.

"If you accept the job, but you must realize that it will be dangerous." Optimus explained with a serious expression. "I suggest you carefully consider this before you decide."

Bumblebee waved hesitantly at her. "We can pay you," he said. She remembered how Bumblebee had gotten money from the ATM before and smiled slightly. Her eyes flickered over the faces around her. Drift looked hopeful, Sunny looked indifferent, but he was keeping an eye on her, Sides, Jazz and Hot Rod nodded at her encouragingly, Bluestreak and Bumblebee smiled at her, and Ratchet just rolled his optics. Optimus stood patiently waiting for her answer.

She rubbed the emblem between her fingers and looked up. "I'll do it," she blurted and Jazz laughed at her.

* * *

She managed to convince her parents that she was going to college. Not a total lie, she _had_ applied to some colleges and she would probably learn some things from the Autobots. When moving day came around, she drove out to the remains of the gas station and met Cosmos waiting nearby in the woods. She paused and stared out over the ruins and the woods, preparing to see nothing but red sandy desert for a while. She reached up and rubbed the Autobot charm between her thumb and forefinger and smiled.

* * *

To Be Continued in How Far We've Come…

Author's note: Well, Wheeljack survived the wrath of the Hatchet with just a few dents, and Joey survived being a pet. THANKS FOR READING MY FIRST STORY! Read the sequel to find out what the Autobots will do about the Decepticons and the new energy source and, as always, please review!


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